Tai Chi & Travel

Malaysia Tour 2011

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Malaysia Tour - 15 Days - August 9th - 23rd, 2011.

Please click on the individual slides to enlarge.

For further information or to secure your place on the tour, just add your details in the comments box below or email us at: taijiplus@hotmail.com

Yunnan Tour 2005 - Relax Asia Tours - 6 part video

2010-01-14T22:23:00.038+11:00

Relax Asia Tours

Yunnan Province is the most geographically and

culturally diverse region of China.

From the temperate plateau of its pleasant capital, Kunming, to the

tropical south bordering Vietnam and Cambodia. From the exotic old

towns of Dali and Lijiang and the thundering gorges of the upper

Yangtze to the Tibetan grasslands and spectacular snow mountains

of the north-west.

If you could only visit one part of China, Yunnan would have to be first

choice.

This six part video blog highlights an amazing 3 weeks a group of us

spent being captivated by this wonderful place and its people.

Part 1: Kunming and surrounds

Part 2: Riuli, Tengchong & Dali

Part 3: Dali, Lijiang

Part 4: Lijiang, Zhongdian

Part 5: Zhongdian

Part 6: Deqin

Penang 2010 from $1,357 all inclusive.

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How does 2 weeks in exotic Penang sound for less than $1,500 including airfares, accommodation, transfers, sight-seeing, entrance fees and some meals?

August 6th - 20th, 2010

Staying at Batu Ferringhi in spacious 3 bedroom apartments ( you can have a whole apartment to yourself or share with family and friends ). Five minutes from the beach, restaurants, night market and bus into George Town. The apartments have their own private garden and swimming pool. Each apartment has two balconies with views. Click on the link below to see inside an apartment.

Marco Polo Guesthouse Click on 'suites' and view Type A ( Fairway Suite )

Cost: ( Total Land Content )

Price per person with two couples sharing a 3-bedroom apartment - $920

Price per person with one couple having a 3-bedroom apartment to themselves - $1,170

Price for single supplement with one person having an entire apartment - $1,670

Airfares to Penang are very cheap through Air Asia if you book ASAP.

We do not book group airfares now, they are much cheaper to book on-line.

As of December 12th the cost of travelling to Penang return is $437.

Total cost for 2 couples sharing would be $1,357 per person.

A seriously cheap holiday with an itinerary that goes well beyond the major tour operator travel formulas.

Link to Booking flights to Penang 2010

Itinerary

August 6 - 20, 2010

Friday Aug 6

Arrive into Penang airport at 12.45 pm and transfer to our apartments in Batu Ferringhi.

After settling in we'll go out to Dinner together at a vibrant local food court.

Saturday Aug 7

Transfer into George Town for lunch at our favourite vegetarian restaurant.

George Town is a World Heritage listed city full of temples, clan houses, Chinese coffee shops, local trades operating in crumbling pre-war buildings, narrow alleyways, a vibrant Little India , Malay enclaves with mosques, Chinatown, Trishaw riders ( Rickshaws ), colourful markets, superb restaurants and hawkers, Baba mansions and an ever present sense of excitement.

We will wander down some of the historic streets, through Chinatown to meet a group of trishaw riders who will take us on a trail through the backstreets of Little India, the Colonial district, clan houses built on stilts over the water and several historic landmarks.

Our tour will conclude at a Cendol stall before ascending Komtar ( Penang's tallest building ) for views over the city.

Sunday Aug 8

Today we will enjoy a bus tour around Penang Island. From the Northern beaches we will head to the Batik factory to watch a demonstration of this fine local art before visiting their showroom. I always have trouble getting people out of this shop.

We head up into the beautiful jungle highlands of west coast Penang, past Durian plantations with views over the straits of Melaka. Next stop is a tropical fruit stall with a rubber tapping demonstration. If there has been recent rains we will get to see the Titi Kerawang Waterfall.

We then drive through several Malay kampongs ( villages ) before arriving at the small town of Balik Pulau. Lunch will be at a Thai restaurant perched high above the surrounding villages and offering spectacular views.

We'll call into the infamous Penang Snake Temple on the way back before spending an hour or so at Queensbay mall ( Penang Island's largest and most modern shopping complex ).

Monday Aug 9

Today is free to enjoy the beach, laze by the pool, explore the kampongs of Batu Ferringhi, do some shopping, take a jungle walk or catch a bus into town.

In the evening the entire main strip of Batu Ferringhi comes alive as a huge night market.

Tuesday Aug 10

This morning we'll meet up with a couple of local friends and take you to a great Restaurant on Gurney Drive for a real mouth-watering Malaysian breakfast. The special fried tofu is extraordinary.

After breakfast we will drive to Kek Lok See . Towering over the village of Air Hitam, this is the largest Buddhist complex in South East Asia.

From Kek Lok See it's only a five minute drive to the base of Penang Hill. We will ascend the hill by Funicular Rail for commanding views over Penang and parts of mainland Malaysia.

We intend to have lunch or high tea at the majestic David Brown's Restaurant and Tea Terraces before any brave souls in our tour party try the Air Walk ( a matted rope walk-way slung high in the jungle tree-tops ).

Wednesday Aug 11

The start of a very relaxing and fun day.

We will drive to the Penang Tropical Spice Gardens for a guided tour and then make our way to the outdoor platform restaurant perched on the edge of the jungle clad hills with wonderful views across the bay.

You will meet our friend Nazlina who will conduct a hands-on Cooking Class for those who want to attempt an authentic Nyonya dish.

You may just prefer to kick back and relax on the deck, enjoy the view and dodge falling sea almonds dropped from above by cheeky Dusky Leaf Monkeys.

Afterwards we will join together for a traditional banquet cooked by Australian Nyonyas.

Thursday Aug 12

This is an optional add-on to the tour. A two day one night trip to the Cameron Highlands in the centre of Mainland Malaysia.

We will cross the bridge from Penang to Butterworth and head south for the highlands.

Enroute we will stop at Bukit Merah, a huge resort with a water-world fun park but more importantly, a lake with an interesting island accessible only by boat. This island contains many Orangutans and provides the chance to get up close and personal with some juvenile apes.

We then drive up into the Highlands, past Orang Asli ( native ) villages to our preferred accommodation Bala's Holiday Chalet.

Friday Aug 13

A day of sight-seeing around the Cameron Highlands includes a tea plantation, the cute little town of Tanah Rata, Sam Poh Chinese Temple and a short jungle walk if we have time.

Our drive back to Penang will include a stop off at Ipoh , Malaysia's 4th largest city, for a famous Ipoh Koay Teow dinner.

Saturday Aug 14

After packing a lot into the past two days - today is a free day.

Sunday Aug 15

An early start as we bus it into George Town to join a group of Penang friends for Dim Sum.

Before that we can stroll through the best morning market in Penang - Chow Rasta. Bring a camera.

We will explore some more of George Town on foot including more of Chinatown, magnificent Armenian St, Khoo Kongsi, Yap Temple, Kapitan Keling Mosque, the Street of Harmony and much more.

Lunch at Edelweiss Cafe owned by our good friend Teresa.

Anyone who wants to spend more time exploring George Town with us may choose to stay in town. If you need to relax then you may prefer to head back to Batu Ferringhi.

Monday Aug 16

The day is free to relax. In the evening we will transfer to the fishing village of Teluk Bahang ( only 10 minutes away ) and be overwhelmed by all the amazing colours, sights, sounds, smells and friendly atmosphere of a local Malay Pasar Malam ( night market ). This market is only held on a monday night and hardly any tourists know about it.

A short walk away is the Fishing Village Restaurant where we'll relax over dinner. Great food the locals will travel from all parts of the island to enjoy.

Tuesday Aug 17

For those who are reasonably fit we will transfer to Teluk Bahang to start a great 90 minute jungle walk to Monkey Beach. The trail is not too difficult through dense jungle with the chance of spotting Long Tailed Macaque and Dusky Leaf monkeys, huge Monitor lizards, Flying Lemurs, scorpions, green tree pit vipers, squirrels and maybe even a python. It's hot and sweaty but worth every step.

Those who don't wish to do the trek will come to Monkey Beach on a fishing boat. The sea here is gentle and the boat ride only takes about 25 minutes.

We will enjoy a picnic under coconut palms, take a dip in the warm waters off Monkey Beach and then all return by boat.

Wednesday Aug 18

Today will be a fairly relaxed and informal trip into George Town.

We will visit the beautiful Cheong Fatt Tze Mansion , chocolate factory, the Eastern & Oriental Hotel , Nagore Place and Penang's New World Park.

Thursday Aug 19

We have kept today free for any last minute shopping, re-visiting any favourite places or just to laze by the pool before returning to winter.

We will have options for anyone wanting to explore more of Penang. We have been coming to Penang every year for the past 13 years and still not seen and done everything this amazing place has to offer.

Tonight we will plan to have dinner together at a local restaurant ( Alternatively, Veronica might cook up a great curry for us all ).

Friday Aug 20

Early morning transfer to the Penang Airport for our flight back to Australia.

This Itinerary is only a brief outline of activities and the actual tour will involve far more content. Any festivals or cultural events occuring while we are in Penang will be added to the itinerary. Specific shopping requirements ( such as music, movies, jewellery, tailored articles or optical needs ) which are significantly cheaper in Penang, will be highlighted for tour members.

This is not a tai chi tour but tai chi is available for anyone interested. A group of local friends practice tai chi every morning from 7.15 - 8.15 in the park next to our apartments. They do the Beijing 24, 42, 40, 42 sword, 48, Chen 56 and a fan form under the tutorage of Master Peter Lim. We will also be there most mornings to help anyone wanting to give tai chi a go.

In the past 2 days Air Asia has increased the airfares by approximately $60.

If you want to join us in Penang at this amazing price, you need to act quickly. Airfares will continue to rise. It is worth bearing in mind though that even well into 2010, despite price increases, Air Asia will still be offering cheaper flights into Penang than otherwise available.

Please click Booking flights to Penang 2010 to book your flights.

Important: Please ensure that your passport is valid at least until February 2011.

Passports must be valid at least 6 months after intended travel dates. You cannot book your airfares without a valid passport.

Penang slideshow

Booking flights to Penang 2010

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Penang Tour - August 6th - 20th, 2010

Booking Flights

Before booking your flights please contact me ( John ) at taijiplus@hotmail.com or ring 1300 88 28 13 to check apartment availability. This tour is filling up quickly.

Please follow the instructions below for booking your airfares to Penang.

( Printing this page may make following the booking thread easier ).

Make sure you have your Passport ( must be valid until February 2011 ) and your credit card with you. Do not book without a valid passport.

Click on AirAsia.com to go to the on-line booking site.

On the left hand side enter Melbourne as the origin and Kuala Lumpur ( LCCT ) as the destination.

Put in departure date as August 6th, 2010 and return date as August 20th, 2010.

Number of people travelling ( paying on this booking ) then click search.

In the new screen that comes up click in the little circles next to 'Adult' to select the economy fares for both flights.

August 6 - depart 0045 - arrive 0700 - D7 2723

August 20 - depart 1340 - arrive 2330 - D7 2722

Tick the box to confirm terms and conditions and then click continue.

The Guest Information box will come up.

Enter details for everyone booking and then go down to select baggage weight allowance and meals.

You may also elect to purchase a comfort kit.

Be sure to enter all passport and contact information correctly.

Important - Enter your name exactly as it appears in the passport.

You will now need to enter contact information for one person.

Don't stress too much with the phone numbers - just enter your number after the '61' and move on. This part is not overly user friendly. Make sure you choose 'international' when asked for which state you live in.

You can enter your name and a password so that if you have to fill this form in again it will remember most of your details. This is a good idea. You will need to go through this procedure again to book from KL to Penang and chances are this booking may time out on you the first time too.

Click continue.

You will be asked if you want to pick a seat. Good luck - it usually can't - so move on.

Domestic flights will allow you to pick seats in advance but the International flights don't for some reason. Confirm and continue.

You will now need to fill out your credit card details and book.

A security section may come up asking you to validate your credit card. This is a bank generated box. Enter your details if you know them or create a new security code. Please make note of any password created for future on-line booking. Any problems, contact your bank's 24 hour support.

If the card security is successful you should get a Confirmed Booking Sheet with a booking number. Please print and/or save this page. Remember, ultimately your passport is your ticket.

Now it's time to do it all again.

Go to AirAsia.com

Enter search. Select KL as the departure and Penang as the destination. You'll find them both if you scroll down to the Malaysia sub-heading.

Enter dates - August 6 and 20, 2010 followed by number of guests then 'search'.

Select flights below:

Aug 6th

Depart KL - 1155 - Arrive Penang - 1245 - AK 5354

August 20th

Depart Penang - 0815 - Arrive KL - 0905 - AK 5351

Follow instructions as per the previous booking.

If you have any queries or run into trouble , please call me ( John ) on 1300 88 28 13 or mobile 0418 589 594.

You can email me on taijiplus@hotmail.com or add a comment to this blog.

Alternatively you can reach Air Asia support on 1300 760 330

China Tour 2010 - Itinerary

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June 26 - July 10 , 2010

Tour Itinerary

14 days in Southern China exploring the major centres of Zhu Hai, Guangzhou, Macau and Hong Kong.

Enjoy the scenic beauty of Dinghu Shan and Panyu.

Tai chi, massage, great food, comfortable hotels, sight-seeing and good company.

A fully-escorted relaxing holiday.

Click on link for overview of the tour : China Tai Chi Tour 2010

Day 1: ( Sat. June 26th )

Arrive at Macau International Airport and transfer to the four star Gold Crown China Hotel.

Airfares are not included in the overall cost of the tour. This allows for greater flexibility for those wanting stop-overs or add-ons. It is also significantly cheaper to book on-line than it is to purchase a group booking. Click on the links below for details on how to book.

Booking Flights to China 2010

Air Asia

Tonight will include an orientation and welcome dinner.

Day 2: ( Sun. June 27th )

Today we explore the once sleepy Portuguese-administered backwater-turned-gambling-megaresort of Macau. Referred to as the Vegas of the East, Macau is a fascinating blend of old and new.

'Macau offers visitors a captivating mix of historic Chinese and Portuguese influences. Handsome colonial houses line cobblestoned streets punctuated by baroque churches and stone fortresses. Restful pockets of greenery, 30 UNESCO-listed historic sights and the beach resorts of Coloane Island' - Lonely Planet.

We will visit the hauntingly beautiful ruins of the Church of St.Paul - the very symbol of Macau.

We will continue on to the Macau museum, the Largo do Senado ( a swirling black and white tiled square surrounded by colonial buildings ), Monte Fort, Penha Hill, Kun Lam Temple, Street of Happiness and we'll wander through the old Colonial district.

The best way to explore Macau is on foot. Be prepared for a fun day of trekking, using public transport and enjoying Macau food.

Time and energy permitting, we may hop on a bus and head to the laid-back Coloane village before returning via the Cotai strip with its huge resorts and casinos.

Macau's colonial backstreets.

Late afternoon we will transfer to the border control area and pass through into China.

Transfer to our Zhu Hai hotel.

Click on our hotel in Zhu Hai - Jun Lin Hotel

Day 3: ( Mon. June 28th )

After a hearty breakfast we will make our way over to the tai chi centre to meet Master Zhao and organise training schedules.

Click on links below to learn more about Master Zhao:

Watch Master Zhao performing tai chi

About Master Zhao Wei Dong

Days 3, 4, 5 and 6: ( Mon-Thurs. June 28th, 29th, 30th and July 1st )

For those wishing to participate in the tai chi training with Master Zhao, we will practise in the mornings. This is not a boot camp, all participation levels will be determined by the student. You can do as little or as much training as you wish.

For those not doing tai chi, there will be various activities in place for you to enjoy.

We will also endeavour to visit a city park in the early mornings for those interested in joining the locals for tai chi.

During our stay in Zhu Hai you will be able to enjoy daily massages ( $6.50 per hour ) and some informal sight-seeing organised by John and Veronica. We will also have the full time services of our close friend and interpreter, Vera Hsu.

Places to visit in Zhu Hai include Xianglu Bay and Fisher Girl ( pictured above ), New Yuan Ming Yuan ( pictured below - based on the Old Summer Palace in Beijing ), Tangjiawan, various temples, extensive shopping ( much cheaper than Hong Kong ) and many great restaurants.

Click here for more Zhu Hai Pics

Day 7: ( Fri. July 2nd )

Training with Master Zhao before a mid-morning departure for Zhaoqing.

Zhaoqing ( pictured above ) lies on the Xi River, 110 km west of Guangzhou. It is bordered to the north by lakes and a series of limestone karst formations.

After arriving in Zhaoqing we check into the Zhaoqing Hua Qiao Hotel and the remainder of the afternoon and evening is free to explore the township.

Day 8: ( Sat. July 3rd )

Today we visit Dinghu Shan, one of the most beautiful and popular scenic spots in all of Guangdong ( see pic below ).

We will explore the Seven Star Crags park - a group of misty limestone hills, with concealed caves and grottos among their craggy peaks. Willow and kapok trees line the paths around Star Lake.

In the evening we will drive to Guangzhou and check into our hotel on Shamian Dao.

This is a beautiful place, an oasis in an otherwise hectic city. It's full of tree lined boulevards, gardens, colonial buildings and fabulous cafes and restaurants.

The evening is free to wander around and enjoy the atmosphere.

Day 9: ( Sun. July 4th )

A day of sight-seeing around Guangzhou and then on to Panyu.

We will visit beautiful Baomo Gardens and Yuyin Village before returning to Zhu Hai late afternoon.

Days 10 & 11: ( Mon & Tues. July 5th & 6th )

Tai chi training with master Zhao and informal sight-seeing around Zhu Hai.

Day 12: ( Wed. July 7th )

Tai chi training after breakfast before transferring to the Zhu Hai Ferry Terminal for a 1 hour and 15 minute ferry ride to Hong Kong.

We had originally planned this trip as a full day tour, returning to Zhu Hai in the evening. Hong Kong is one of the great cities of the world. In order to get more out of a visit there and not leave you totally exhausted, we have decided to stay overnight in a fabulous new hotel right in the heart of downtown. This will incur a $75 increase to the quoted price but for a night in Hong Kong and an extra day's sight-seeing, this is quite nominal.

In Hong Kong we will visit the famous Victoria Peak for spectacular views over the city and harbour ( see picture above ), Repulse Bay ( see picture below ) and the floating city of Aberdeen.

Click here to see pics of Aberdeen

Late afternoon we will check into the Harbour Plaza Hotel ( a new hotel opened October 2009 - click on link below to view ) and enjoy an evening in busy Kowloon.

Hong Kong Hotel

Day 13: ( Thurs. July 8th )

After a buffet breakfast at the hotel we will enjoy a half day tour of Hong Kong's Kowloon area including the Wong Tai Sin Temple - A large and active Taoist Temple with nearby fortune tellers. We will then stroll through the beautiful Kowloon Walled City Park before visiting either the Jade Market or the delightful bird garden.

In the afternoon we transfer to the ferry for our return trip to Zhu Hai.

Day 14: ( Fri. July 9th )

Morning tai chi with Master Zhao.

Enjoy lunch together in Zhu Hai before an afternoon transfer to Macau International Airport for our return flight.

This itinerary is as accurate as possible. Certain things will no doubt be added to the program closer to the departure date.

Tour includes:

* 1 nights in Macau with sight-seeing ( 4 star hotel ).
* 1 night in Hong Kong with sight-seeing ( 4 star hotel ).
* 9 nights in Zhu Hai ( 3 star hotel ).
* 8 days of tai chi training with Master Zhao ( duration and level of training will depend on the individual - suitable for all levels of tai chi experience ).
* 1 night in Zhaoqing including sight-seeing to Dinghu Shan ( spectacular scenic area ).
* 1 night in Guangzhou staying on Shamian Dao with sight-seeing.
* Visit to Panyu area.
* Ferry and 2 day guided tour of Hong Kong.
* Some meals but not all ( food is cheap and western friendly. Zhuhai is famous for its seafood )
* All transfers.
* Australian Tour Leaders throughout.

Total cost excluding airfare is only $1,665 twin share. Single supplement is $2,065.

Tour price excludes:

* Airfares - currently available through Air Asia at approximately $750 return.
* Some meals
* Zhu Hai informal sight-seeing ( optional )
* China visa ( $30 ) - we can organise for you.
* Travel Insurance.
* Drinks & spending money.
* Any tips.

To book for the 2010 China Tour please call 1300 88 28 13 or email info@relaxasia.com.au or
simply add a comment with your details to the end of this article.
We hope to have you travelling with us in China next June.

A $200 deposit is required at time of booking to secure your place on the tour.
The price quoted is subject to change until deposit is paid. The Hong Kong hotel promotional rate is only valid until the end of November 2009. As this tour has not been designed as a profit making exercise there is little margin to play with. Any drop in the Australian dollar will have to be passed on to tour members ( until deposit is received and we can confirm bookings with our China operators ). Air Asia flights should also be purchased without delay to avoid incremental price increases and ideally secure seats on the same flights. If you are unsure about booking flights, please call me - 1300 88 28 13 ( John ).
This promises to be a great tour at a probably never-to-be-repeated price.

Links:

Booking Flights to China 2010

China Tai Chi Tour 2010

zhao wei dong

Tai Chi or Chai Tea

2009-10-31T22:18:00.014+11:00

"I thought Tai Chi was a spiritual thing, like Yoga"

"Isn't Tai Chi just for health?"

"A martial art? How can you fight in slow motion?"

What is synchronised swimming doing at the Olympics?

Ask someone who's trained in the pool every day for 10 years.

Swimming against the tide

The wave of people washing blind

They are just a ripple

The real rip is caused by the storm of converted souls

The Tai Chi enthusiasts

Yesterday's students

Today's teachers

Passing on the diluted piddle they should rename - Chai Tea.

Why can I not defend myself using Tai Chi?

A: Because you are not prepared to stand in the Zhang Zhuang for 1 hour a day.

A: Because you don't practise stepping for 1 hour per day.

A: Because you don't travel to China and stay there for 5 years studying every day for 6 hours with a Master.

A: Because you don't train the applications over and over and over again with a partner.

A: Because you don't know what 'Duifang' means.

A: Because you are SOFT. Because you are not soft.

A: Because you haven't done 10,000 hours.

These Masters, these Chinese men and women who breathe Tai Chi from childhood

Unhitched by ego

Pure power

Pure physics

I also like watching Tai Chi gymnastics

Pure Chai Tea

Some relevant quotes:

Courage first; power second; technique third. ~ Author unknown

Never interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistake. ~ Napoleon Bonaparte

I fear not the man who has practiced 10,000 kicks once, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick 10,000 times. ~ Bruce Lee

Don’t hit at all if it is honorably possible to avoid hitting; but never hit softly. ~ Theodore Roosevelt

“Persistence is the twin sister of excellence. One is a matter of quality; the other a matter of time.”

“There is no superiority or inferiority of style, only the distinctions between the practitioners.”

“The one who has conquered himself is a far greater hero than he who has defeated a thousand times a thousand men.” -The Dhammapada

“You’ve got to learn your instrument. Then, you practice, practice, practice. And then, when you finally get up there on the bandstand, forget all that and just wail.” -Charlie Parker

“First you have to be hit to know how to defend.”-unknown

Tai Chi isn't funny

2009-10-26T19:47:00.015+11:00

I have had the pleasure of meeting some witty 'tai chi' people over the years.

Joe Sweeney, Gary Jackson, Liu De Ming and Don Gray are four who readily spring to mind.

An hour at the Cove Hotel with the Patterson Lakes tai chi crew can be very amusing. Listening to the likes of Robyn , Jen or Peter the Magnificent will almost certainly guarantee you the hiccups.

Tai chi attracts humourous people but tai chi itself is not funny.

When practising tai chi you need to maintain a serious disposition.

I have seen a few people over the years who can smile as they do their forms.

I'm not sure if they realise that they're breaking the important 11th principal of tai chi.

I am jealous though, I would love to be able to smile and not lose my balance.

So now I'm thinking, there must have been some funny moments in my tai chi life.

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Many years ago I do recall doing Qi Gong in a beautiful Melbourne park with one of the most famous tai chi masters in the world. He shall remain nameless but a private lesson with this gentleman would set you back a cool $500.

We stood with hands on dan tien, eyes closed, postures adjusted in turn by said master. He articulated our good fortune to be standing in a beautiful place surrounded by trees, the birds singing, the sun's rays caressing our relaxed bodies. It was a perfect setting and Master X continued to highlight the verdant setting and soothing birdsong.

Eventually the session came to an end and we opened our eyes just in time to see Master X pick up a rock and hurl it at two birds on a nearby bough. The little birds didn't budge so he bent over to pick up another missile. A loud ripping noise ensued as Master X's fine silk pants split from ipod to mingmen.

We almost died laughing as we watched him scurry off to find some new daks.

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As a tour leader on the RAT 2004 China Tour I continually reiterated the need for punctuality. All tour members must be on time for the bus. It's only courtesy toward your fellow travellers.

As always, this group were great and everything went smoothly.

We visited the Shanghai museum.

'Everybody must be back on the bus by 4pm', I decreed.

Don Gray and I ( they nick-named us the Prostate Brothers ) went looking for a toilet as usual.

Mission accomplished we wondered through the extensive halls of the famous museum……….

When God was handing out the 'funny genes' his hand must have slipped as Don went past and literally showered him with comical DNA. He is an entertainment complex on legs. I found myself spending as much time as possible in his company. Partly because he's just a great bloke but also because he's so funny.

Don talks to everyone. One day he held up about 1000 Chinese tourists while he tried to close the gates to the Forbidden City.

On another occasion the tour group visited a Beijing house to meet a local resident and learn about his life. We got mobbed by street hawkers trying to sell their wares as we wound our way through the Hutongs to get to this house. We entered the house courtyard and realised that Don was no longer with us. No matter, he often disappeared and finished up being invited home by a local Chinese family. Language differences didn't seem to matter, the Chinese loved him.

We sat quietly listening to an elderly gentleman relating his life story through an interpreter. Fifteen minutes later the door to the courtyard swings open and in walks Don carrying about 30 boxes of Chinese Calligraphy sets.

"I know they ripped me off but they were such nice people."

We laughed until we were nearly sick.

After visiting a few cities in China we sailed down the Li River to Yangshuo. As we approached the town you could see people herding cattle, harvesting rice, wheeling carts and fishing with cormorants. Don walked over to me on the boat deck and said.

"This is fair dinkum China. They're not muckin' around here".

………… Back to the museum. I lost Don, it doesn't take much. He just wonders off and talks to people.

I found him in the Bronze age chatting away to a well dressed gentleman.

"This is blah blah blah, Curator of the museum", he said, introducing me.

"He does tai chi".

So here we are, in the middle of the most famous Museum in China, doing the Beijing 24 Forms with the 'Manager' , as Don called him. We went through several other forms followed by a round robin pushing hands tournament that attracted quite a crowd. We were having a great time until I heard Veronica screaming my name from somewhere.

"What the hell are you doing? We've been sitting on the bus for over half an hour waiting for you".

We got marched out of there and back onto a very cold bus. Fortunately Don had them all laughing again within minutes.

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My favourite tai chi story concerns my son.

He's now 24 years old but at the tender age of 6 he used to watch his old man practising tai chi.

When I first started teaching tai chi I would stand in front of the mirror and talk as though I was in front of a class.

My son Eamon would come into the room and play with his toys while I practised.

I would perform the Lotus Relaxation exercise while vocalising each move.

Turtle treads water, white crane spreads wings, lotus turns to face the wind etc.

Eamon would be engrossed in his toys and virtually ignoring me.

One day I came home from work a bit earlier than usual. I walked toward the bedroom and stopped short of walking in.

I could here Eamon in there talking. I crept closer and peered around the corner.

Eamon was standing in front of the mirror going through the Lotus. His little mate Brian Murphy was following him through the form.

I was staggered to hear him calling out the names of each move exactly in the right order.

Things suddenly went a bit pear shaped around the middle of the form.

There's a move where you have to get into a half squat position and circle your hands. It's called Snow Rabbit Sits on Haunches.

Eamon got to that part of the form and it came out of his little 6 year old mouth as:

Snow Rabbit Shits Unconscious.

From that moment forth the move has been called Gathering the Qi.

I think tai chi can be a little bit funny.

China Tour 2008 Reunion

2009-10-19T19:38:00.013+11:00

Date: Sunday the 18th of October 2009.

Time: 12.30 - 4.00 pm.

Venue: The Wheelers Hill Hotel ( for lunch ).

Present: All 20 of the amazing group of people who toured China together last year.

Just after this photo was taken we realised that Anna and Pat were missing.

We found them and they were duly shot ( with Beth's camera ). See next pic.

Exactly one year and two weeks after our return from China, every member of the 2008 tour came to the reunion. They travelled from Phillip Island, the Shepparton area, Ballarat, the Colac area and from around Melbourne.

We have been really blessed with great tour parties over the years. Every group has been a pleasure and I wouldn't want to compare tours - they are all different. Having said that, we have never experienced anything quite like this groups genuine affection for each other and their absolute desire to have a go at everything.

The 'catch up' moment was extraordinary. 20 people standing in a dining room, hugging, kissing and all talking at once. I stood back for a few seconds and just soaked in the atmosphere.

The other diners had a look that conveyed a degree of annoyance at being disturbed but massively tempered by a kind of empathetic jealousy. This was very much a rite of passage.

We had booked two tables but no one sat down.

As you can see - we eventually did sit down.

The food was OK, the view of the Dandenongs was good and the company was great.

We had prepared a China tour questionaire. How much do you remember about your holiday? Shirley took out the Brownlow with Beth and Janice a close equal second.

It was firmly established that you would not attempt a tour of China under any circumstances with either George or Werner as your local guide.

Many of us browsed through Beth's photo albums of the tour. Wonderful photos and magnificent memories.

Anna and Pat raised questions about a future Penang tour. The concept gathered momentum and we will definitely explore the possibility of another China 2008 tour reunion ( in Penang next year ).

I guess that means that in 2011 we'll have to organize a Penang 2010 tour reunion.

Penang is a very unique place. It's our passion and we get butterflies just thinking about showing people around our 'second' home. I would love nothing better than to spend 2 weeks there with this group of people. It would be a hoot.

4 O'Clock came around so quickly. Sue had organized for 14 of the group to go to the movies and watch Mao's last dancer.

It was a wonderful afternoon. Time spent with people you just want to spend time with.

China 2008 Tour Group:

Frank Spooner

Morrie Spooner

Margaret Dorrington

Werner Golz

Jenny Sim

Judy Dixon

Sue Huckins

Janice Cowburn

Shirley Sullivan

Beth Graham

Eric Stinchcombe

Dawn Stinchcombe

Anna Van Caem

Pat Watts

George Bath

Carol Bath

Jenny Lang

Donald Lang

Veronica Greer

John Hanna

From little things, big things grow.

In 2007, Janice happened to mention that if we were prepared to organise a tour similar to our 2006 China Tour itinerary then she may have some people interested in coming.

Thanks Janice.

Penang photo slideshow

China Tai Chi Tour 2010

2009-10-15T22:15:00.006+11:00

If you love your tai chi then you're really going to love this:

Two weeks in China with tai chi lessons and sight-seeing for only $1,665 ( excluding airfares which are currently available for around $900 with Air Asia ).

It's an unbelievable price and it gets better.

Tai chi classes are suitable for all levels ( from complete beginner to advanced ) learning from one of the world's great tai chi masters, Zhao Wei Dong.

June 26 - July 10, 2010. 14 days.

Your 2 week holiday includes:

* 1 nights in Macau with sight-seeing ( 4 star hotel ).

* 9 nights in Zhu Hai ( 3 star hotel ).

* 8 days of tai chi training with Master Zhao ( duration and level of training will depend on the individual - suitable for all levels of tai chi experience ).

* 1 night in Zhaoqing including sight-seeing to Dinghu Shan ( spectacular scenic area ).

* 1 night in Guangzhou staying on Shamian Dao with sight-seeing.

* 1 night in Hong Kong ( 4 star hotel )

* Visit to Panyu area.

* Ferry and 2 day guided tour of Hong Kong.

* Some meals but not all ( food is cheap and western friendly. Zhuhai is famous for its seafood )

* All transfers.

* Australian Tour Leaders throughout.

Total cost excluding airfare is only $1,665 twin share. Single supplement is $2,065.

Tour price excludes:

* Airfares - currently available through Air Asia at approximately $900 return.

Visit Air Asia or 'click' on the following link: Booking Flights to China 2010

Click here :- Book Now

* Some meals

* Zhu Hai informal sight-seeing ( optional )

* China visa ( $30 ) - we can organise for you.

* Travel Insurance.

* Drinks & spending money.

* Tips

This will be a relaxing holiday for anyone wishing to expand their tai chi experience with a very unique master of his craft, Zhao Wei Dong.

Master Zhao embodies the true spirit of tai chi. He is a gentle teacher with the capacity to understand and change people's lives. His skill, not only as a tai chi practitioner but as a Buddhist teacher, makes spending time with him a powerful experience.

If you spent over a week training with a Master of this ilk, anywhere else, you would almost certainly pay the sum total of this holiday for the tai chi alone. It is a mark of Master Zhao's honest intention to share knowledge with those who seek it that he only charges a nominal training fee.

His students love him and he is developing a large following. The school that they have established for him in Zhu Hai is a great training centre. Many students come to him with limited experience or needing to improve their tai chi skills. His teaching methods are holistic, realistic and compassionate. He believes in foundation and developing inner peace. Master Zhao's approach to tai chi is centred on personal development and finding more joy in your life.

He is the most powerful tai chi man I have met. His internal energy ( jing ) is almost frightening yet his demeanour is the most gentle. Australian tai chi students now have the opportunity to meet him and learn from him.

To watch Master Zhao performing a small section of tai chi please 'click' on the link below:

zhao wei dong

We have been organising tours to Malaysia and China for 11 years now. This trip will be different from all our previous ventures. The sight-seeing will be typical of past trips but the general atmosphere of the tour will be more relaxed and informal. Participants will have more free time, flexibility of tai chi training curriculum and times, massages when ever you like ( A$6.50 per hour ). It will be a lot about looking after number one and really de-stressing.

If you don't practise tai chi or you want to bring a friend or partner who doesn't do tai chi, there are still plenty of things to do on our two week sojourn in China.

For more information or to book call 1300 88 28 13 , email info@relaxasia.com.au or simply add something to this blog.

Best wishes to all - John.

Tour minimum number 12 pax, maximum 25 pax.

Click on related links below:

Booking Flights to China 2010

Master Zhao Wei Dong

Booking Flights to China 2010

2009-10-15T10:54:00.003+11:00

Tai Chi in China 2010

June 26th - July 9th.

Tour cost is $1,665 per person twin-share ( single supplement $2,065 )

This price is land content only. It includes transfers, all accommodation, tai chi training, sight-seeing tours and some meals.

Airfares are not included for the simple reason that it is now much cheaper to book individually on-line than it is to buy group flights.

If you are as excited about having a tai chi holiday in China next year as we are, here's how to book your flights:

( You will fly: Melb - KL - Macau / Macau - KL - Melb )

Option 1:

Ring 1300 88 28 13 and we can talk you through the process. You will need a credit card handy, your passport and about 20 minutes.

Option 2:

Go to Air Asia ( click on link ) and it opens up their booking site.

To the left of the screen you will need to enter flight search details -

Origin - Melbourne

Destination - Kuala Lumpur ( KL - LCCT )

Return flights

Enter dates - recommend depart Melbourne, June 26, 2010 / depart KL, July 10, 2010.

Enter number of guests

Click Search

It should bring up the option to select a 0045 flight out of Melbourne on June 26th and a 0110 flight from KL to Melbourne on the 10th of July.

0045 (MEL)

0700 (KUL)

D7 2723

Adult

274.00 AUD

Economy

and

0110 (KUL)

1110 (MEL)

D7 2724

Adult

310.00 AUD

Economy

Click in the circle titled 'Adult' to select the fare.

You will then need to click/tick the 'agreement box' and then continue.

You will then be required to fill out the personal details for each person travelling.

You can choose the appropriate baggage amount and a meal if you want ( you can also purchase

food on the plane - but you will get preferential service if you do it now ).

Fill out all contact information.

You will then be taken to a payment section with the option of pre-booking your seat number.

There is the potential for the whole process to 'time-out' if you take too long. This can be frustrating but try again - you get good at it. The great price makes it well worth the time spent.

You now need to book return flights from KL to Macau:

Go to www.airasia.com once again and go through the same booking procedure as before.

This time select KL ( LCCT ) as the origin and Macau as the destination.

Make sure it's a return fare.

Put in June 26, 2010 as the first date and July 9, 2010 as the second date.

Select flights listed below by clicking in the 'Adult' circle.

Select 1215 departure from KL to Macau on June 26 and the 1625 departure from Macau for

your return journey on July 9. This will allow for connections to and from Australia.

1215 (KUL)

1600 (MFM)

AK 54

Adult

139.00 MYR

Economy Promo

and

1625 (MFM)

2005 (KUL)

AK 55

Adult

139.00 MYR

Economy Promo

Option 3:

You can go to a travel agent or search on-line for alternative fares.

Unless another Airline is running a limited promotional fare, I doubt whether you'll get anything as cheap as Air Asia.

Please ring us if you have any questions or require step by step help with the booking process.

1300 88 28 13 ( ask for John or Veronica )

Don't be put off by the on-line booking procedure. It's actually quite easy and you'll learn how to organise really cheap flights for yourself in future.

The flights and flight times recommended here are ideal for coordinating with the China Tai Chi tour but you may like to arrive earlier, leave later, plan a stop-over or fly on to another destination. Talk to us if you need travel ideas, hotels or help with booking other flights.

Photo - Macau

Penang slideshow

2009-10-13T22:19:00.005+11:00

A slice of life in beautiful Penang.

Photos by Veronica Greer and Shirley Milkins.

Master Gao Jian - Double Handed Sword

2009-10-11T23:18:00.006+11:00

On Sunday the 11th of October we had the pleasure of being invited to the Double Handed Praying Mantis Sword introductory class held by Master Gao Jian in Doncaster.

There were approximately 12 students in attendance and we were treated to a very enjoyable hour and a half.

Master Gao began by discussing the nature of the Double Handed Sword. This sword is considerably heavier and more powerful than the usual tai chi jian ( sword ). The practitioner requires more power, endurance, skill and flexibility than for normal sword play. In ancient China only elite martial artists would flourish such a weapon.

Master Gao Jian then went on to detail the lineage of the Double Handed Praying Mantis Sword. Beginning with Liang Xue Xang and branching out to Chen Yun Tao who was Master Gao's Master's Master. This aspect is important and highlights the authenticity of Master Gao Jian's teaching.

Then it was our turn. Master Gao took us through the first few moves. It was different from any form I've attempted before. I nearly amputated a class-mate's leg and almost got stabbed in the back by an attractive young lady ( Hmm, that seems vaguely familiar ) but it was a lot of fun.

To conclude the class Master Gao Jian treated us to a demonstration of the whole form. It was simply mesmerising and left everyone feeling both excited and in awe.

Veronica and I have attended three previous courses with Jian. We completed the Wu Style 45 competition form, a pushing hands course and the Wu Style Sabre. In each case we really enjoyed the style of teaching and Gao Jian's amazing depth of tai chi knowledge. Jian doesn't promote himself like a tai chi businessman. He's too humble and he's too real. Check him out if you want the real deal.

Master Gao Jian

Gao Jian's Introduction to the Double Handed Sword

Last days in Penang 2009

2009-09-02T23:25:00.006+10:00

Dajia Hao,

Hullo to all our family and friends.

Let's jump in the deep end.

I have always believed in the theory of evolution but it has to be a free kick for goal, into the wind, for the Creationists when you consider that people living here don't have heads shaped like umbrellas.

Hang on .. our Indonesian maid has just thrown her full support behind Charles Darwin and reminded me that it never usually rains like this.

Rare sighting of a wild albino Proboscus Monkey at Titi Kerawang

We drove to Titi Kerawang waterfall for a swim.

The Big Tit, as I call it, is usually dried to a trickle but now it's a raging torrent.

The serene rock-pool we've bathed in over the years now resembles a giant washing machine. I jumped in and clung to a jungle vine as the river literally exploded all around me.

Yes, it's the Wet Season.

When it rains for more than 3 days in a row the locals call it the wet season.

When it rains for 3 weeks in a row... it's just crap.

Lotus Bud is losing her tan and her sense of humour.

Having the use of a car this year has enabled us to get out more in the rain.

We do miss the freedom of the bike but motor cyclists in Penang are known as TMCs ( Temporary Malaysian Citizens ) for good reason.

Stats:

Road deaths per annum ( 2007 ) in Malaysia - 6,282 ( can you believe that ? ), 3,963 were motor cyclists or pillion riders.

It's Ramadan now and the Moslems have to fast.

I think some of the young Malays have completely misinterpreted the word's of Allah and thought he meant for them to drive fast. We have witnessed incredible acts of stupidity on the roads that utterly defy logic and will almost certainly grant them an early entre to paradise. Penang has a lot of ambulances.

On friday night we attended a benefit dinner for the Little Penang Street Market. This is a concept created by several of our friends to promote Penang Heritage and local trades.

The dinner was a formal affair held in the Grand Ballroom of the G-Hotel on Gurney Drive. It's affectionately known as the G-Spot and I must confess to having some trouble finding it.

The evening's highlight was a world fusion band from KL called AkashA.

Great band, worth the Google search.

Our days here are full, despite the ubiquitous rain.

So many friends, festivals, parties, markets, the incredible city of George Town, amazing food, vibrant culture, etc etc .... oh and Durian.

It breaks our hearts every year to leave.

We have less than a week left. If it wasn't for our wonderful family and friends ( and my beautiful little dog Ska, who turned 15 last month ) we would probably stay here.

The fact is, Melbourne is a great place to call home and we are learning to appreciate it more each year.

Appu, Manjula & Pooja at our apartment

We are looking forward to seeing everyone at Tobin's Tai Chi Academy next Wednesday.

On the 18th of October we get to catch up with the great group of people we had the pleasure of travelling through China with last year.

I so want to finish this email by writing "Go Lions!" ...... but I won't. Too many injuries I believe.

Love to all - John and Veronica.

Letter from Penang

2009-08-25T23:17:00.006+10:00

Dajia Hao,

Hullo to all, hope everyone is well.

Good luck to all those involved with the WTPA Festival. Our thoughts are with you.

Only 2 weeks left of our annual pilgrimage and we're starting to panic.

I can't imagine leaving here despite the persistent rain.

The weekend after we returned from Borneo was a lot of fun.

A group of us spent time cooking up some local curries at the Spice Garden followed by a website building seminar.

The next day we took a boat to Monkey Beach and then trekked up to the lighthouse at Muka Head. After exploring the lighthouse with its spectacular views over the north-west corner of Penang island, we continued on by boat to Pantai Kerachut to view the turtle breeding sanctuary and meromictic lake ( first person to email back with even the foggiest idea of what that is will win free accommodation in Penang for two weeks next year - serious ).

Nazlina, Johanna & Johan

at the turtle hatchery

Trekking in the Malaysian jungle is a wonderful experience. But, if confronted by a tiger it is important to stand perfectly still and sing.

The Malaysian National Anthem works best. If the tiger still wants to attack then try the Singaporean or Thai National Anthems. It may be an over-the-border tiger.

Generally they don't like eating people. Of course, if they're really hungry and there's nothing else to eat, the familiar 'Macca's effect' comes in to play. We start looking like a cheeseburger with fries.

Over the weekend we met a really nice Texan who writes articles and takes wildlife pics for ecology magazines and websites.

He married a Malay girl and they've lived in KL for the past 20 years. He converted to Islam as a matter of course and was asked to select a Moslem name. He chose Razlee Dazlee much to the chagrin of his adopted family.

Enjoyed a funny night out with Jamal ( a Malay friend ) and his wife.

His latest saying is "never late than better". His tales about Arab tourists are priceless. Ramadan has just started so the Arabs have gone back to the desert.

Everybody here is breathing a sigh of relief.

It's holiday time. Appu and a couple of drivers who work with him, their wives, a tribe of kids, Lotus Bud and I, all crammed in a bus and headed for the Genting Highlands.

If you enjoy smoke filled casinos, lots of expensive franchised fast food outlets and soulless Malaysian versions of crass American culture, then the Genting Highlands could be just the place for you.

On the upside, it is cooler if you need a break from the tropical heat and there are some fun rides in the Theme Park for kids of all ages.

Genting is where the Malaysians come en masse to play. It's like a religious pilgrimage. Like doing Haj. They come from every Kampong on the peninsula at least once in their lives.

During a two night stay we didn't spy a single western face.

We stayed in room 929, one of 11,000 rooms that make up the largest hotel on the planet. The whole place looks like the departure lounge of an airport. There is not a single vacant room. Why?

The Malaysian mind is essentially unfathomable.

They're all wearing masks to guard against the media-hyped up H1N1 virus but they are happy to share food and drink bottles, leave stagnant water to attract dengue, smoke themselves stupid into burgeoning cancer wards and never use

soap to wash their hands. I love them but they are a people who have massively embraced 21st century technology only minutes after evolving from jellyfish.

Issues such as caring for the environment, racial equality, women's rights, health and safety have not even blipped on the radar yet.

We are going to Thailand tomorrow for a couple of days for some trekking.

I have to go and learn the Thai National Anthem.

Love to all.

John and Veronica.

Letter from Kuching

2009-08-15T23:10:00.012+10:00

Dajia Hao,

Our best wishes to everyone.

After 2 weeks in Penang, Lotus Bud and I decided we needed a holiday.
The local Chinese doctor strongly advised that I convalesce somewhere far away from Durian. Six nights in Borneo should do the trick.

Durian stall at Balik Pulau

I needed a small backpack, so, while driving around the Kampongs of Balik Pulau looking for 'Red Prawn' Durian ( I would inject that stuff ), we found a cheap bag shop. I bought a really cheap pack - I thought, if it lasts the 6 nights in Borneo it will owe me nothing.

Next day we left our apartment, said goodbye to our neighbour, ' Bama ' ( I call her the President ), picked up my pack and it literally fell to pieces.

We had a harrowing drive to the airport racing with the clock, found a park and then ran to the Check-in Counter like contestants on the Amazing Race.
"Sorry Sir, your flight departure has been delayed by one hour".

While Veronica sat sipping her Cafe Latte at Coffee Bean, I sewed my bag back together.
We passed through Airport security like the Invisible Man and his imaginary wife. The dude on the x-ray machine was so engrossed in telling a pretty wanita about the great nasi lemak he had that morning that he didn't notice us, our bags or the 2 litres of nitro-glycerine we smuggled through in our water bottles.
Welcome to Malaysia.
This is a very laconic country.
When we arrived here from Australia over a month ago, I found the padlock was missing from my suitcase when I took it off the carousel.
Not wanting to be the next Shappelle Corby, I immediately notified the nearest Security Guard. He just waved me on. I persisted.
"My padlock is gone, anything could have been planted in my case."
He looked at me like I was beginning to cause him grief. He eventually motioned toward the Lost Property counter and suggested I go and report the theft of my padlock.

So we are back in Borneo after 7 years.
What a wonderful city Kuching is. The Sarawak River snakes through the city with the Old Chinatown on one bank and the majestic Mosque and Palace of the White Rajahs on the other. An evening spent down at the waterfront sipping rice wine and eating fine Malay food is almost perfect.

We're staying at an Iban operated hotel. 70 years ago the Iban were still Headhunters but nowadays they prefer to take our money and let us go.

Manager of the Iban Hotel

asking a guest to leave.

We shared breakfast with a group of loud Americans. One guy was telling everyone about a recent trip to Kazakstan where he saw a family drive by with a cow in the car. He said he didn't know how they got it in there with all the kids but it was the funniest thing he'd ever seen.

No trip to Borneo is complete without staying at a Longhouse.
We chose a Bidayuh village called Annah Rais, up in the mountains near the Kalamantan ( Indonesian ) border.
On the drive there from Kuching we passed a shop with two signs out the front. One said 'Pet Rabbit For Sale' and the other said 'Fresh Rabbit Meat'.

The Longhouse has almost 200 doors. An entire community effectively living under one continuous stretch of roofing with a bamboo verandah connecting the houses.

After settling in, we opted for a 3 hour jungle walk from the Longhouse to a beautiful three tier waterfall. The walk was hot and sweaty but very spectacular. At one point we walked within metres of a slash and burn area. The sound of the exploding bamboo and raging flames was quite frightening. We couldn't help but get a small sense of how
overwhelming the horror of Victoria's bushfires must have been for many.

At the waterfall we ate rice and chicken cooked in bamboo before swimming in a rock pool at the base of the falls.

Our fellow travellers were 4 Singaporeans and a Japanese girl we named YoYo because she couldn't stand still.

Our night at the Longhouse included a cultural show that made tai chi look like a Bullfight.
Our MC, fat Mr. Edward, introduced each performance with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth and a beer in his hand. Each dance was performed by his Grandmother dressed in feathers and fighting to stay alive. Twice she fell asleep in the middle of a 'dance' and fat Mr. Edward had to come out and give her a prod.
The 'guests' were required to join in the last dance. We waved our hands from side to side as we took turns in holding Granny up. We swayed to the rhythm as the Bidayuh warriors sat around in their AC/DC and Slipknot T-shirts, texting their mates on their iphones.

Back in Kuching, we caught a local bus out to Semingoh Orangutan Sanctuary. It's worth coming to Borneo if for no other reason than to spend time with these awesome creatures.

Spent a night at Bako in a wooden hut.

Close to Kuching and accessible only by boat, this National Park is arguably the best wildlife experience short of an African safari.

At Bako, the ubiquitous and strangely proportioned Proboscus Monkeys look uncannily like me - according to several of my Malaysian ex-friends.

We arrived back in Penang at midnight last night. Our holiday is over and, perhaps mercifully, so too the Durian season.

Malaysia is a culinary heaven.
This year we have a great kitchen in our apartment and Veronica has cooked up some smart local curries. The best part has been exploring our favourite markets for fresh vegetables and buying different spices in Little India.
On the other hand, China ( if you're not on an organised tour ), can be a culinary nightmare. It can be so bad that even McDonalds seems like a good option.
We got chatting to a Chinese guy lately who told us he loved visiting Australia but he couldn't find anything to eat. He added - "Thank God for McDonalds".

Love to all.

Many thanks to those of you who have sent emails. We really enjoy hearing from you.

All the best - John and Veronica.

Letter from Malaysia

2009-07-30T22:53:00.011+10:00

Dajia hao ( Hullo everyone ),

As Gao Jian pointed out, I mistakenly called you all my Big Sisters ( Dajie hao ) last email. A nice twist on the Chinglish we enjoy so much in China.
Recent classics include : Please don't presd down on the pretly grass ; Mashroom ( toilet ) ; no vocifercation ; uproaring and shouting would also disturb the publicity and influence hotel guests to rest ; adultery and showing reaction is not joyful .

We hope that you are all well. Veronica and I had an amazing time in China - again.
For 9 days we travelled around Hainan without hearing much English. Finding food ( that a wai guo ren can eat ) is often difficult but always creates a laugh.

Hainan Dao is a large island ( about half the size of Tasmania ) off the south coast of China. We travelled to 3 main locations on the island.

Haikou, in the north, is the capital and one of the most frenetic cities we've been to. The old town and back street markets are a photographer's heaven.

Wuzhishan is an ethnic minority region up in Hainan's hilly interior.

Sanya, in the south, is to Russia what Bali is to Australia. A spectacular beach area full of cafes, bars and a McDonalds. Most of the street vendors and cafe owners tried talking to us in Russian. They speak some Russian but no English. I would answer them in Chinese with my best Russian accent. On one occasion I nearly got to sell Veronica for a vintage 20 year old bottle of Vodka. The deal fell through when I tried to down play her incontinence.

We enjoyed balmy tropical weather most of the time despite the occasional heavy shower of rain. On one such occasion we took shelter in a pet grooming saloon ( the new China ). The place was full of pampered pooches and gay guys with scissors.
I tried explaining to this miserable little poodle dressed in a frilly dress and pink toenails that this had to be better than being number 43 with black bean sauce but it seemed to fall on deaf ears. Just then a peddle cab pulled up and a man holding a confused cat got out in the torrential rain. We seized the moment, jumped into the now vacant cab
and went searching for a coffee.

We are now back in Malaysia and rapidly putting on weight.
After a night in KL we took a bus to Ipoh and languised for two nights in the once majestic Railway Hotel. Unfortunately the lunatics have taken over the asylum. The grand old lady is now riddled with arthritis. Paint peeling, carpet full of mildew, the Malay signs look like graffiti. We concluded that it must be time for Britain to invade Malaya again.

From Ipoh to Appu

The weekend after we arived in Penang was the first anniversary of George Town being awarded UNESCO World Heritage listing. All over town the Chinese, Malay and Indian communities held various festivities. I won't go into detail but the explosion of sights, sounds, smells, tastes and sheer excitement was mind blowing. What a place. Is there
anywhere else on the planet quite like Penang? This is now our 13th continuous year of coming here and the love affair has never waivered.

We have a car too. Hitherto referred to as The Yellow Peril. Picked it up from our friend Appu last night. After being run over by a dog last year we decided to turn potential disaster into a speed hump.

'Ring' 'Ring' - " Appu, a white man has stolen your car ".

Funny thing; we ride 2,000 km every year on a motorbike and Veronica sits as quiet as a mouse on the back. Now we have a car and she's a nervous wreck.

Over dinner Appu recited the tale of his two trips to England. As usual, we laughed to the point of almost losing another sensational Penang meal.
In his teens ( he's now 35 ) Appu could speak no English. He was driving for a tour company and was entrusted with transfering an English couple from Penang to KL. Despite the language problems they soon fell under his spell, as nearly everyone does. He has an uncanny knack of knowing what people need. If you feel thirsty his car will miraculously find a roadside stall and you're soon sipping fresh coconut juice.

Appu drove them to KL and left them at the Marriot. Two hours into his return trip to Penang he happened to glance in the rear view mirror and spy a lady's handbag on the back seat. It was full of money, cards, 2 passports and various valuables. He immediately turned around and drove back to KL.

At 2 am he found them pacing the foyer of the Marriot Hotel completely distraught and unable to trace the driver. They couldn't believe it when he walked in with the handbag. The guy pulled all the money out of the handbag and thrust it at Appu. They were so pleased to get back their documents and money was no object. Naturally Appu refused the cash but the couple pretty much adopted him then and there.

To cut a long story short, they paid for him to come to England, taught him English and still visit him every year in Penang. When ever the English couple come to Malaysia they pay for Appu to travel everywhere with them.

Appu says, " The guy comes here, hires a car and then he drives. His wife likes to sit in the front to see the view, so I sit in the back. Now I am the boss. "

Better go, this keyboard has all the letters worn off so I keep making mystakes. You literally have to tread on the spacebar to make it work.

Hope everyone is well. Love to all.

John and Veronica.

Letter from China

2009-07-16T23:19:00.007+10:00

Dajie hao,

We are sitting in a ritzy open air Russian cafe on the Dadonghai coastal strip of Hainan Island in China.

A tropical storm has imprisoned us here.

A big 'Ni Hao' to all our friends.

We've been on the run for over a week now. It all began with a Air Asia flight to Kuala Lumpur, which was fortunately without incident albeit uncomfortable. I did my best to contract Durian poisoning while Veronica tried to track down her Malaysian boss who has been hiding from her in KL. We eventually found his Clinic but he had somehow gotten wind of the approaching Dragon Lady and fled.

We checked out of our KL hotel at 4 am and took a hair-raising, one hour taxi ride to the airport for our flight to China.
"Sorry sir, your flight has been cancelled, come back tomorrow."

Various textures of excretement hit the aircon before they consented to putting us up in a ghost town on the outskirts of KL. It was a reasonable hotel surrounded by reflexology brothels and hundreds of deserted shops.

We arrived in Haikou ( Capital of Hainan Island ) a day late. The official welcoming party tried to explain to us that there was no bus and their overpriced taxis were the only option. We eventually arrived at the Banana Hostel after a series of bus trips and settled in to playing one of our favourite holiday games - spot the cockroach.

There are parts of China where a white man can starve.
Last night we stayed in a remote ethnic minority region called Wuzhishan ( Five finger mountain ). The restaurant served up a dish I call Exploded Chicken.
The basic recipe is: One chicken; 6 large mushrooms ( which the chicken has to eat just before going to God ) and a stick of dynamite.
The dynamite is forced inside the chicken and then they blow it up. The resultant mess is gathered up, put in a pot and sauteed in its own urine. Toss in some chilli, garlic and more chilli then serve hot.

The previous night, after being eaten alive by mosquitos the size of small birds, we discovered that this area is Malarial. My little Lotus Bud panicked and we made a bee-line for the nearest Yaofang ( Chemist ). I must point out that we have not heard a word of English in 3 days and my Chinese only serves to confuse most people. I asked for quwenji ( mosquito repellant ) but they wanted to give us toilet paper. Veronica immediately drew upon her years of professional acting and started buzzing around the shop, flapping her wings and poking her proboscus-like index finger into the arms of several very distressed looking shop assistants. They asked us to leave.

As we drove out of town on the first bus this morning I imagined passing a huge under-cover area full of tai chi masters teaching advanced forms in perfect English. Next door was a boutique Coffee House with a large TV screen showing replays of Brisbane Lions Grandfinal wins and episodes of Master Chef. Home suddenly didn't seem such a bad place.

Love and wishes to all our friends.
As the many beautiful Chinese people we have met in the past week say - man zou ( take care ).

John and Veronica.